This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
