I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
