i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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