Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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