Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
