I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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