he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
