I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
