didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
