and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
