I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize