I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
