I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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