So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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