I need help removing her.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize