Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize