Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
