Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
