we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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