listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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