Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
