i think my tv is drunk
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
