john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
