Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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