Three words: puerto rican gang bang
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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