I'm really into asian looking animals
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
