it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize