question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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