next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
