I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
