Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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