it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
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