So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
