garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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