i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
