its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
