no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
