just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
