I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
