i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize