A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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