Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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