I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
