i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
