R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
