you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
