First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
YAS. BRING CRAB.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
