Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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