well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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