mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
