Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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