did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize