it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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