can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
