why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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