I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
