spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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